alianora: Text: You win again, gravity (FUTURAMA: Gravity wins!)
[personal profile] alianora
Whining and frustration and word vomit under the cut, all real life crap.



So, i'm a teacher. and right now, it sucks.

for those of you playing along at home, you might notice that this sounds VERY FAMILIAR.

nine years of teaching, 6 schools, 5 jobs - only ONE of which has involved me not getting asked back, and that was due to budget cuts, and just when im getting a handle on things, i get kicked in the head again by how much i hate it.

until christmas, i was doing great. since then, i've been called in to the principal's office twice - once for a regular meeting with him and the prek director where she expressed some concerns and i took care of business, and then again for a regular meeting where we discuss if i will be back next year - he expressed concerns that this school isnt a "good fit" for me.

none of these are bothering me - all fair and good.

but add in the fact that the prek director never came and discussed concerns with ME before taking them to principal, add in the kid in my class who reported being molested (but not by me, thank fuck), add in the speech therapist who stopped me today and told me she has concerns about how my classroom is running and she is "very frustrated" and wants to go to the principal, and when i asked why she didnt talk to me, just sniffed. add that to actually getting written up this year (a first, seriously, i have never ever ever been written up before) due to getting very sick in regards to a med and i left and y'all, I DONT REMEMBER LEAVING SCHOOL, which is hellishly scary.

what the fuck yall.

maybe i am just a shitty teacher.

in two weeks, i find out if i have a job next year at this school, and at this point im betting no.

this fucking sucks.

id love to say that if i lose this job then i just wont teach anymore, but how would we afford for me to do something else? there's a Lush 40 minutes away, and id love to work there, but too long of a drive for too little money. retail would make me punch someone, i'm very much not cut out for office work-i find computers and internet too interesting and end up fucking around online all day. daycare? would solve some problems but raise others.

i just feel like it's not even worth trying again - going through the interviews, setting up a new classroom (and no promises i can even get another prek job, which is what i prefer), getting to know a new team-new principal-new everything. and y'all, before, we've always been on a time limit of where we were - we knew we would leave - but now we bought a house and we're HERE and how can i face former parents if they ask why the hell im not teaching and am working at walmart?

fuck.

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alianora

December 2013

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