*panicked breathing*
May. 3rd, 2010 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Hi, so I'm supposed to "help out" by signing for a Deaf family tomorrow at the rec center, and instead of practicing or going over what I'm supposed to sign, I am instead watching videos of people signing songs on youtube and FREAKING OUT because this is a family who is, you know, FLUENT in ASL, and I am COMPLETELY NOT, and I can't even figure out half of what these people are signing even though it's to the words to the song and HI FREAKING OUT I WANNA CALL AND WIMP OUT.
The reason the rec center asked is because i approached them about teaching Singing Time classes so if i suck what will i do and the family is fluent and im going to make an idiot of myself and i hate everything so im going to go take a xanax and try to go to bed. But if i take a xanax NOW, I still have to be up in 6 hours and what will it do to me all day tomorrow? I need my brain to finish translating and going over signs and gah i hate EVERYTHING. What was i THINKING? I can't do this!
SHE SHOULD BE HERE. SHE COULD DO THIS.
The reason the rec center asked is because i approached them about teaching Singing Time classes so if i suck what will i do and the family is fluent and im going to make an idiot of myself and i hate everything so im going to go take a xanax and try to go to bed. But if i take a xanax NOW, I still have to be up in 6 hours and what will it do to me all day tomorrow? I need my brain to finish translating and going over signs and gah i hate EVERYTHING. What was i THINKING? I can't do this!
SHE SHOULD BE HERE. SHE COULD DO THIS.